You will heal from this with the support of one another. It's never easy losing something you've hoped for so much. Last December, I went in for a doppler at 9 weeks, 4 days.
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My OB had trouble finding the heartbeat, so she brought in the portable ultrasound. My little gummy bear measured 9 weeks, 1 day and had no heartbeat. She offered me the chance to have a confirmation ultrasound upstairs, which I did. Then she started talking options, and I cut her off and asked for a D&C as soon as possible. She scheduled me for 4:30PM the next day.
I went to my parents' house, told them, and did a shot with them. My dad drove me home and picked up Scotch and Gatorade on the way - after all, I needed to make sure I was hydrated for my long day. (Though, as we got on the elevator, a young family with new twins were getting off. That was tough.) The nurses and anaesthesiologist were wonderful, and though I don't remember seeing my doctor, she must have been there. We spent the next day daydrinking with friends.
It was like having a little wake for our pregnancy, and it was helpful for us. We conceived again a little over 3 months later. This time we're more cautious in our optimism, but we love this new baby every bit as much as we loved the first. You just joined a very big and loving club. Mourn however you need to, and tolerate no judgment from others. I am sorry for your loss, and if there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know.If the pregnancy test is positive and the doctor is unable to find the heartbeat on scan, an appointment is made for a second scan – usually the following week (or even longer). The missing heartbeat may be an incorrect calculation of the conception date, and the baby maybe younger than was originally thought to be. ‘Extra padding’, when mom is plus-size may make it more difficult to hear the baby’s heartbeat, but this does not affect the scan in any way. If the woman is sure of her dates and there is still no heartbeat, if she is bleeding (even just spotting) and the baby does not measure 6mm on the scan, this could be an indication that the pregnancy is not progressing. This will inevitably become a spontaneous miscarriage. Women who go through this experience may have had a gut-feeling that she didn’t ‘feel’ pregnant. This instinct can be a blessing because it may help to soften the news when the doctor confirms the diagnosis and has no choice but to booka D&C (dilatation and curettage) to end the pregnancy. The baby’s heart begins beating from day 22 to 28 after conception. During pregnancy, labour and birth, the baby’s heartbeat is a good indication of the baby’s health. From this primitive stage, the contracting heart circulates blood, nutrition and oxygen from the placenta to every tiny dividing cell of the baby’s developing body. The first 22 days after conception are crucial for the embryo. During this time one single ovum (egg) and the sperm, race against time first to meet, then fuse and nd the womb at the end of the fallopian tube. Finally it implants itself into the womb lining (endometrium) on about day ten. By day 22 the embryo needs to be prepared for the heart to start beating.
The developing embryo depends on mega-doses of progesterone from the ovary to keep it alive. The embryo is racing against time to survive independently. Although the sperm can enjoy the comfort-zone of the cervix (mouth of the womb) for as many as five days after ejaculation, the ova, once released, must be fertilised within 24 hours. The fertilised egg has only eight to ten days to journey through the fallopian tube before reaching the womb. Any delay or obstruction in this tube will result in a ‘tubal pregnancy’. Once this ‘cluster of cells’ (called a blastocyst) anchors itself to the wall of the womb, the placental cells connect with the endometrium. High progesterone levels make a woman feel pregnant. Her breasts feel different – tender, sensitive and fuller than usual.
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